Dormant no more - GYT day 2

Today is the first master class – Wake the Snake – but the tour got started last night when I taught the 6:30 class at LVC Südstadt. It was a great introduction. There were new faces and familiar spirits too. It gave me a chance to just share the kind of flow that I love. My friend and host Ulla commented that she was noticing the reactions of the new folks last night, seeing them move in a new way and being moved by the opportunity to do so.

I’m surprised how excited I am for today. I’m not sure why I’m surprised. I’ll get to share all of the subtle aspects of the practice that have been really turning me on for some time now. In some ways I have had to prep more than I do for some other classes or workshops because these mantras, mudras, kriyas and pranayamas are very powerful and I want to share them in a way that is accessible so that they can become tangible tools for people in their own sadhanas. But the “work” has been fun. Some of these practices are apart of my daily sadhana all the time but I’ve never given myself the luxury of having a practice consist solely of these subtle pranic powerhouses. I felt my own dormant snake stir this morning, and I’m hoping that I can help some other folks feel that waking today. Wake the Snake will be followed by kirtan tonight for which I’m always ready and willing. I’ll be playing with two local guys: Janko on bass, and Mike on voice and shakers. I can’t wait.

More after at the end of the day… stay tuned.

radically traditional - German Yoga Tour Day 1

I’m writing this post from an Intercity Express (ICE) International train traveling from Amsterdam to Köln. This is the beginning of my German Yoga Tour, with teaching days in Köln (VishnusCouch.de), Düsseldorf (VishnusVibes.de), Dortmund (CoolYoga.de) and Leverkussen (YogaVilla.de). I enjoy coming to Europe – traveling on trains, and streetcars, all the bikes, and the goats and sheep grazing in snowy grass as high speed trains whiz by. The cities of Europe are a terrific clash of the old and new worlds dancing some sort of old-school fertility jig with a modern, erotic twist. When is the last time anyone saw a grandmother stop peddling her bike through the snow to send a quick SMS message? Not unheard of here.

With the holidays only one week behind me, I don’t feel like there was a lot of time to think about this trip. The plans have been made since July and the master classes and workshops have been advertised since fall. I’ve been going about life pretty normally with my daily practice as my anchor through the all the hubbub of Yoga School ending, family visiting, and holiday celebrating. Then suddenly I’m on a plane, flying over the Artic Circle, train-ing into Centraal Station, and walking the winding streets of Amsterdam in a light snowfall with a dear friend. It’s almost surreal. Through it all, these themes that I set up for this tour have been taking more shape in the back of my mind. They have had an affect on what I’ve chosen to practice over the last few months in the same way that teaching Yoga School through the fall had a palpable affect on me. However, it’s only been in the days since the holidays and since arriving here in Europe that I’ve had a moment to step back and reflect on what's been happening.

end of the year cleaning

"Imagine that God is a great musician and that you are a flute He wants to play the most glorious music on. If the stops of your flute are filled with mud, how can the music that is meant to be played through you sound at all?" ~Father Bede Griffths

Forget spring cleaning. It's the end of the year and the end of the decade. It's a perfect time to lighten your load so that the path can be clearly seen again. New resolve and renewed intentions all around!

silence

In contemplating the way of Baba Hari Dass I began to picture all the extraneous thoughts in life as that friend who comes over to constantly raid your pantry and your refrigerator. As long as there is food to be had - as long as the mind runs wild, he keeps coming round. As the mind get quieter there's less for the thoughts to snack on. Maybe I just like the image of thoughts being a perpetually hungry friend...

Kaayedriya siddhir ashuddhi ksayaat tapasah (Yoga Sutra II.42)
By austerity, impurities of body and senses are destroyed and the yogi is made perfect.

sam cooke

is the starting point for my class today. "On New Year's Eve 1962, as he was preparing for a musical assault on Las Vegas, he more than held his own at a gospel concert in Newark, NJ, where he appeared alongside the Dixie Hummingbirds, the Caravan Singers, and the latest incarnation of the Soul Stirrers. Cooke explained his continuing connection with his roots: When the whites are through with Sammy Davis, Jr., he won't have anywhere to play. I'll always be able to go back to my people 'cause I'm never gonna stop singing to them. No matter how big I get, I'm still gonna do my dates down South. Still gonna do these kind of shows. I'm not gonna leave my base. (from A Change Is Gonna Come, Craig Werner)

Sam Cooke is talking roots in terms of a personal history, but roots to our truth and our cosmic history are just as important. There is so much life and noise and chaos constantly swirling around us, and the practices within yoga can be like those gospel shows or dates down South. The practices become our safety zone or the home base where we can be renewed or even reborn. No matter how our outer life changes we have to keep an eye on that unchanging source center within us so that we can always find our way back to our roots to be made a siddha (a perfected one) all over again. Through this constant returning to the safety and stillness of the rejuvenating seat upon the earth – using asana and devotion and mantra and meditation – we will begin to create a home, an ease, and a firm friendship with out truth-roots. So that even when we are away from our base we still never really leave it behind.

you can never have too many mantras

I'm falling in love with the Hanuman Gayatri. Thank you, Rhiannon.

OM ANJANEYAYE VIDMAHE
MAHABALAYE DHIMAHI
TANNO HANUMAN PRACHODAYAT OM

We pray to the son of Anjani and the son of the Wind.
May Lord Hanuman propel us.

Jai!!

all good things

Tomorrow is my last opportunity to practice alongside Matt for a while. That's been a hard reality to deal with. He's been a friend and student during this whole move to the west coast. In fact, he's really my one guy-friend in the Bay Area, at least the only one I spend time with regularly. He's like my SFBFF. More than all that, I've been lucky enough to be part of Matt becoming a teacher. He's my first mentee who I've been able to thoroughly track, and I'm so proud of the progress he has made and the teacher he has become. But now it's time for him to return to nYc (via Paris and India) and to his lovely LP. There's no better reason to uproot than for LOVE. And so I'm happy for him, but that happiness is colored with a touch of sadness. Vairagya is, like Arjuna says to Krishna, really hard.

i end up in the whackiest places...

but I do love a good shout-out. I've been accused of having "no bones", being a cirque du soleil refugee, channeling a Teenage Ninja Turtle (Michaelangelo, I think), and now having Spider-man super powers. Thanks Karey Ann.

pics from Tucson Yoga

Here are some pics from Kirtan at Tucson Yoga. Did I mention that I love Tucson? It's got a funky spirit like a Portland or a New Orleans but it's in the desert. Pay them a visit. SOON.

back for a moment

I'm back from my brief trip to New York. I'm glad I went. It was good to see Lori doing better than I expected. She said I was a calming presence. I think I was helped by my visit as much as she was. She's such an inspiration, doing whatever she can to extend her life(force), and trying to really enjoy all that she has left. I made some music for her, we made some together, and I left feeling like we'll be able to do it again.

Tomorrow night I fly to Costa Rica. Monkeys and mangoes, here I come!

being a friend and a minister

I flew to nYc today to see my friend Lori who is battling stage 4 cancer. I came to be with her and to make music with her and to see for myself how she's REALLY doing. It isn't easy. But if there's something that my yoga practice has taught me is that this being human isn't meant to be easy, and that we must embrace the sukkha and the dukkha equally. To run to one or away from the other brings only problems.

In seminary I learned about the dying process. Like so many other aspects of seminary and being a minister, I've yet to have the opportunity to be a part of anyone's transition from this life. I believe in my heart that Lori still has a lot of living to do but I also understand that the journey has begun. And so I'm here. I feel blessed to have the means and opportunity to travel across the country to be with a dear friend, to be able to laugh, sing, and cry with her, and hopefully to be of service to her and her husband. I know that I will be nourished and inspired by her will and her light.

saying good-bye

My favorite yoga magazine, ascent, is closing its doors after 10 years of inspiring yogis in the traditions of Swami Sivananda Radha's creative vision. I have waited expectantly for each issue since I discovered ascent six years ago, and have turned to those black-and-white pages for knowledge and inspiration in my teaching ever since. I refuse to get rid of my stack of dog-eared back issues. Like the Sutras of Patanjali or the Gita, ascent is full of nuggets and stories that are meant to read and re-read. I offer my thanks and gratitude to the modern-day swamis and sages who have given so much of their light to the rest of us in creating these sacred texts.

ascent needs some help getting their final issue out the doors before they are closed. Visit them to learn more about the magazine and how you can help.

less and less

I feel like I've finally found my sadhana. The challenge is really having it and still having something new to say as a teacher on a daily basis. I can't talk about Sri Ramakrishna, the Uddhava Gita, the spirituality in the teachings of Jesus Christ, and the Bhakti Sutras of Narada in every class. And as someone pointed out to me recently, I "teach the crazy poses at the end of Light on Yoga." Which is true. But that's the direction of my personal, physical practice. There's a lot less movement, and it doesn't change that much from day to day but it is pretty advanced in its focused simplicity. Most days I feel like I truly have something to say and offer that has the potential to resonate with someone. But there are those days when I'm trying to give people what I think they want. Even if it is what they want, and I'm able to do it well on any given day, I don't know how I feel about it.

inspired to dance (one day)

It's shots like this that make me want to make the pilgrimage to India. The celebration and the ritual are inspiring. And right now it seems like everyone I know is making the trek. Sometimes I feel a bit guilty for not packing up and just doing it. I'm just so daunted by the other side of India: the poverty, the tensions in the region, and the very real chance of getting ill. I hope that I'm able to make the journey one day, just to dance naked with the sadhus, celebrating God.

(photo by Swiatek Wojtkowiak)

Devotion by the Ocean

It's time to retreat! I'm off to Costa Rica again in April (5-11). This time I'll be joined by my friend Astrud.

I know what the economic turmoil is doing to everyone's pocket so we've kept the price down for this adventure: $1,008 for a double occupancy bungalow, and $700 for a triple occupancy room. That covers lodging, two meals each day and all the yoga.

Feel free to e-mail me with questions or to let me know you're interested. See the full details at www.yogawithkeith.com/costarica.html.

Pavana Suta Hanumana Ki Jai!

2 in 1 month

This is the month when the forward-bend photos of me are in Yoga Journal. I knew that November was the publication date. I haven't seen the issue yet because I've been in Alabama for the last few days where a current issue is hard to come by. But I've been hearing through the yoga-vine that the spread turned out great.

On my way to the airport this morning - one last try at finding the new YJ - I popped into a Barnes & Noble. No luck. "Probably later today", I was told. So I grabbed a copy of Yoga + Joyful Living to add to my in-flight reading stack. While doing my initial flip-through who do I come across but ME.

I answered an ad from New York photographer David Sachs three years ago calling for yoga models. I got the gig, did the shoot, and had all but forgotten about it until recently when I saw a shot (in Yoga+) of the woman - I really wish I could remember her name. I think it is Ayo, but is was three years ago - who was modeling the day I was. I remember the photogrpher being really pleased with the pictures, both the solo shots as well as some partner pictures. At the time I was told that all the pictures were for stock photography, so I've always known they could show up anywhere, anytime. When I saw a picture of my co-yogi show up in the last issue of Yoga+, I did think for a moment that maybe I would show up in print at some point soon. And then I forgot. Then today, unexpected as much as expected there I was. Just kind of kooky that Yoga+ would coincide with YJ, and that I would see it today. Must be the full moon.

got it!

It's on with Yoga Journal. Like my voice teacher Margery used to say, "A little free advertising never hurts."

modeling?

I got an e-mail from Yoga Journal, wanting to know if I would like to audition to be the model for the Home Practice section focusing on forward bending scheduled for print some time in the fall. I thought, why not? Who knows if I'll be the guy or not but I sent in the pictures (thanks Cookie). Have a look at the slideshow (there are a few extra shots in there from some professionals).

freed(om) time

When I decided not to have knee surgery this past winter, I made the decision that I have to have two days off from physical practice. It means practicing in other ways. So yesterday was Alter-Cleaning-Day. Dusting and chanting. Re-dressed Ganesh. Now that's my kind of day off! Om Gum Gum Ganapatayei Namaha!

flip, float, and fly

Flip, Float & Fly at Laughing Lotus SF

Saturday, July 12, 4 -6 PM
$20

An afternoon of playful exploration through inversions, arm balances, and gravity defying FUN! Working solo, with partners, and in small groups we will tap into our truest nature and become LIGHT itself. Familiar shapes will move away from the wall, unfamiliar shapes will spark new curiosities, and the known and unknown will change places. OPEN to All levels.

Call Laughing Lotus SF to register
415 355 1600
www.laughinglotus.com

the responsibility of the mantle

Last night I shared with my class a mantra that is still fairly new to me: Aham Brahmasmi. Swami Sivanada Radha - in her book Mantras Words of Power (timeless books) - translates this as "I am Brahman" or "I am God". That's big.

At first, choosing to chant this mantra can seem a bit tricky; I have visions of someone being cautioned against taking the Lord's name in vain or a flash of lightning striking down the infidel. With deeper reflection I begin to realize that this mantra is a reminder, much like Om Purnamadah, that I am the reflection of and therefore very much a part of God.

My teacher Rabbi Gelberman would always remind me and my budding ministers that one of our 'jobs' is to be an inspiration worthy of being called the reflection of the Divine. Not always easy. Sometimes when we are on this path to our highest self, seeking to rediscover oneness something unplanned begins to happen : separation. We start to reconnect with the Divine but begin to put walls up between us and those who may not be on the path or who are perhaps on a different path. If all the paths on the mountain lead to the same peak, then how can we allow ourselves such a stumble? Because we are human, and we think with our heads more than our hearts. So this mantra is the tool to help reset or readjust our perceptions and sight so that we can take on the responsibility of the mantle of being a joy-filled, walking, talking piece of God.

See you at the top. Enjoy the journey!

happy happenings

A couple upcoming events where I get to share my love for the practice.

"Happiness is the goal of yoga - the goal of life."
-David Life and Sharon Gannon

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Friday Night Kirtan Party!
Starting February 1st
with Keith & Friends at 8pm
Entrance By Donation

Come Blow your Heart Wide Open with the Ecstatic Practice and
Celebration of KIRTAN, the Yoga of Sound & Devotion

EVERY Friday night
Laughing Lotus Yoga Center - San Francisco
3271 16th Street at Dolores


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PARTNER YOGA
with Indigo Stray & Keith Borden
Saturday, February 9th
1pm - 3pm
International Orange Spa
internationalorange.com/yoga/workshops.html

PARTNERWORKSHOP: Get tangled up and have fun with partner yoga. Learn to use connection to another yogi, both physically and energetically, to stretch and release deeper into your practice. Classic yoga postures will be included along with creative partner shapes. Find new stability, fall over, and LAUGH! No experience necessary for this playful sequence of postures.

All levels welcome.
Workshop cost is $60 per couple. $30 per individual.
Please call (415) 563-5000 or see the front desk to pre-register.
Space will be limited to 20 students.
Walk-ins will be accepted should space permit.

for everyone

I know that Christmas isn't everyone's holiday but love and celebration belong to all people, everywhere.

May you be happy.
May you be free from suffering.
May you have light and love in your life.
May there be peace and joy throughout the lands!

Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu.

apples and oranges

I will not be unkind or speak ill here because I don't like the idea of the internet being an open forum to spew venomous opinions. However, being back to teaching in SF has officially killed the buzz that New York gave me. I can admit it: I'm an addict. Yes, I'm addicted to the warmth and joy and curiosity and excitement that New Yorkers bring to their mat. Frankly I'm not sure why you'd come to the mat without those things. I keep waiting for that "tremendous" feeling that's supposed to behind the letting go... And I know that there's some resistance on my part, but there's plenty coming from the other side. Teaching to love brings out love. Why would I want to teach to anything else? And I don't mean love for me, but love of life and the practice of becoming your best and True Self. I know that nothing will ever keep me from my own practice and my own path but I fear that my new surroundings have the potential to make me step away from sharing the practice I love so much.

Abhyasa Vairagyabhyam Tan-nirodhah (Sutra I.12)

The movements of the mind are stilled through consistent practice and non-attachment to the outcome.

empty space

I'm staying with friends in my building while I'm back in New York because my apartment is empty and on the market. My friends have a beautiful 8 month old daughter - she's like a little Sita. Since I'm out at Nataraj Yoga in Port Washington today my practice was one of the first orders of the day. I got out of their way and went down to practice in my place. Talk about freaky. Laying my mat in the spot where it lay for years was really the only thing that felt familiar in my empty space. That aprtment is so clearly not where I live anymore. It was almost like today's practice was some sort of farewell: a coda to the final movement of my New York Suite.

yogi on the run

I'm trying to decide if it always felt like this, or if it's just because I've been away for the last few months. Did I run around this much while I was living here? Did it wear me down like this, and I've just blocked it out? Or is it because I'm getting around on foot and carrying so much stuff? I don't know. But being a yogi on the run feels a little less than good right now. That being said, at least every time I stop running I'm in the company of amazing people who make it all worth it.

surgery

I had my MRI earlier this week. It confirms the suspicions: I have a tear in my right medial meniscus. I'm planning to have surgery early in the year (February or March). Hopefully it won't put me out of commission for too long.

back where it all began

I'm in New York for a few days doing some teaching. It was fantastic to be at LLNYC tonight, sharing class with everyone. There was such an outpouring of love welcoming me back, and it was a real blast to teach the nYc family again. I'm constantly struck by how the community at LLNYC consistently shows up ready, willing and open to everything. This isn't home any more but it's certainly good to be back.

under the knife?

I finally went to the Orthopedist at Kaiser Permanete yesterday about my knee. The pain has become more of a recurring character than I would like so it's time to do something about it. I'm not sure if that will be surgery yet, though if that means no more pain I think it's worth it. I'll find out more after they put me in the giant magnet later this week.

That's one of the sides of the practice rarely talked about. I move my body a lot and am constantly exploring the fullest range of movement possibilities. As a result there's a likelihood of joints and ligaments giving out more so than if I wasn't practicing. Does that mean I won't continue to have a dynamic practice? Doubtful. I continue to enjoy mixing it up so that not every day has to be all about the asana or the flow. It makes me think about those passages in the Hatha Yoga Pradipaka that say things like "one need only practice asana-x" or when poses are dedicated to a particular sage, suggesting that was the only pose that he practiced. Some days a shape is enough.

who dat?

I was in New Orleans last weekend, teaching at Wild Lotus Yoga. It was exactly what the Cosmic Doctor ordered. It felt great to practice in the warm, humid NOLA fall, and it's such a wonderful community of yogis down in the bayou. My body and mind were fed and refreshed. If you're ever there, you absolutely must drop in to experience their beautiful bhav. On the last night I had the privilege to jam with members of the Wild Lotus band. What a gift to be in the company of other bhaktis. Thanks and praise to you Sean, to you and your fabulous family of yogis.

Om Pavana Suta Hanumana ki Jai!

gimme what I need

The new center is open! Last night we had a full house, buzzing with old and new friends and family. It was great, except for the fact that I lost my voice. Oy. Not good timing. Not surprising with the stress and being overextended. Swaha. It was/is so bad that I wasn't sure I'd even be able to teach this morning. Somehow, by the grace of someone I had just enough voice to teach the very first class at Laughing Lotus San Francisco. Now my voice is gone again.

It was lovely to teach again! And people showed up! Really great people. For the first time since arriving in California, I feel completely like myself. I've always known that I love to teach but I'm not sure I realized just how much I NEED to teach. I'm okay with that.

could those be roots I feel?

I've been up and down ladders and scooting around dusty floors with a paintbrush in hand for the last week, helping to ready Laughing Lotus San Francisco. It's been tremendously rewarding being a part of the sub-molecular gestation of the new center. However, I'll be happy when we're finished. Not just because my body is beginning to object but because I'm ready to start teaching again. I miss it - it's been almost two months! I've never been away from teaching for so long. I know teaching will get the ball rolling on everything else too: it means I'll meet people and begin to form more of a sense of community. It's also a creative outlet for me, and I know it will get my deeper creative juices flowing again. Can't wait.

I'm back to shaking it up and out on my mat as well. It took a little while to feel at home in my new space but it's finally starting to feel like I can dance my own dance again. Probably helped that the clothes finally came off today. For some reason I've been apprehensive to practice naked here. Maybe because I live on a street with little houses, and I was/maybe still am convinced that the neighbors might be able to see in. So, I kept the blinds closed this morning - not ideal, since I'd like to enjoy the CA morning sun. But that took care of that concern and freed up the whole experience. Maybe tomorrow I won't keep the blinds closed. Besides who cares if the neighbors can see? Isn't part of the practice reveling in the glory of what God has crated and given us? If they're looking...well that's on them. Maybe they'll be inspired to unshackle themselves in some new way. Who knows?

Speaking of unshackling, I went to a class in Berkeley last week. I'm trying to be open. I think that will have to it's own post. For now I'll just say that I'll be glad when I'm able to share classes with my LL family again.

stop, look, and listen

Most days I'm unwilling to speculate or pinpoint what yoga has "taught" me. More often than not the inquiry has more to do with whether or not I can put my feet behind my head (yes, I can). But the most profound teaching that I have found in the yoga is: Stop, Look, and Listen. It isn't in any book but it is in the everyday, be-here-completely-in-the-moment (yet to be written) handbook.

I'm up early today waiting from a call from the east coast, clicking around the net and slowly getting motivated for the day. During a pause between clicks, I looked up to see a hummingbird having a restful moment (just sitting there) in the magnolia tree outside my window. What a great gift for the morning.

The magic happens in the spaces of life. Movement is special but we have to stop from time to time to receive the gifts, to allow our senses to take in all that magic we so often miss while we're clicking or whatever-ing. My beloved voice teacher, Margery, used to say: The difference between the student and the artist is that the artist doesn't fear the silence. I'm sure there's a way to relate that to the yogi and the master (or guru or mahayogi) but... why?

Now the question is, will I be attached and expect to see a still hummingbird in that magnolia tree again? Hmm.

Jai!

reduced

I'm in California, right? I'm so amazed at how chilly it can be here in the Sunshine State. Most days (of the two weeks I've been here) the clouds burn off around noon and the temperature goes up. Oy, not today. As I prepared to get on my mat I was so chilled that not only did I put on a long-sleeve shirt and long pants, but I felt the need to turn on a space heater. In September. Am I reduced to having to heat the room just to practice? God, I hope it hasn't come to that.

out of the mud

After a month filled with becoming an ordained minister, getting married, packing in New York, driving cross-country with my beloved, our dog and cat, and unpacking in Oakland, I'm finally finding some sort of rhythm and a semblance of practice again.

During that month, there was hardly an asana in sight. At first it was difficult but as the days fell away, so did the attachment. Most days if I could find a moment at my alter, I was happy. If I could throw in a squat or a headstand, even better. The letting go... tremendous.

I gave myself over to the situation (which was all good) and simply made time for some quiet. I began nibbling at The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna and the Narada Bhakti Sutras. The absence of asana gave me the space to expand my heart and the non-linear portion of my brain.

That all being said, now that my home sanctuary is set up I'm happily rolling out my mat again every day. The great gift on the other side of a month like the last one is the fact that the quiet I created is still part of my daily journey. Along with my mantras - Ganesh, Hanuman, Shiva, Kali, Gayatri, yamas and niyamas - pranayama, asana and meditation, I'm still spending time with Sri Ramakrishna and chanting from the Bhakti sutras every day. My daily practice actually feels like it has expanded from the hiatus from asana. Oh the letting go.

Who knows what the life of a yogi in (sometimes sunny) California will be. The SF Laughing Lotus blossoms on October 5, and I'm sure being back at teaching in a new city is going to inject something new and exciting into my practice. Only time...

Jai!

off the grid

If Gov. Jon Corzine can say, 'No,' to e-mail, can the rest of us? I was just listening to David Shipley discuss his thoughts about it on NPR's All Things Considered (listen). Gov. Corzine isn't stepping away from e-mail, Blackberrys, and the like for any spiritual reasons. He's doing so, siting concerns for his privacy. Oh, you politicians. A little renunciation would probably do you good.

This is my fantasy. I dream about being off the 'grid'. There are so many days when I long for the time when I was less reachable, when communication and gratification were less immediate. I'm convinced we would rediscover patience. Of course, I'm a self-described quasi-reclusive homebody (who sometimes writes a blog... hmm), and I know I'm in the minority on this one. I've accepted the reality that once you're on, you're on. As long as you have a credit card, you're going to get junk mail. As long as you have an e-mail account, you're going to get spam. As long as you have a phone, it's going vibrate. It's hard (though not impossible) to suddenly turn it all off and step away from the way that most of the 1st and 2nd world communicates with each other. I have a couple ideas, thanks to my friend Patty, that I might put into play very soon.

Amma told a story the other night about a man who meets a great master. The man is surprised to find that the master has no possessions. It made me think of a Rumi poem. We're all just guests and renters in this world. It goes right along with my fantasy and the feelings I'm having while packing up my... possessions (almost wrote 'life'). I've acquired a lot of stuff, and as I'm packing I find myself wanting to toss most of it. Isn't less, more? Every time I'm in Costa Rica in my little one-room hermitage (no cell, no computer, no cable) where everything I own can fit under the bed, it just feels so right. What if New York City (or Oakland) could feel that way?

more packing than practice

It's a busy time. Getting married and moving to California (all in the same month) means not nearly as much time on the mat as I'd like. The time I do have feels likes such a gift. Ah, the letting go. Showing up for my classes in these final days of my New York life is pretty tremendous, and they are truly the highlight of the day. I will miss the NYC yoga community!

Amma!

Amma is in town!
Three days of public programs will be held in New York between July 11 and 13.


Public Programs - July 11, 12 & 13



Jai Ma!

new twist on a good tale

Check out Nina Paley's version of the Ramayana, the Sitayama (or Sita Sings the Blues). I think the episodes she has up so far are brilliant!

Ask and you shall receive

I've had a little experience this year with asking and receiving, with the whole moving to Toronto-moving to Oakland switch-eroo. And I was reminded that you can't ever get what you want unless you ask for it. So when Amy P. suggested that I post my playlists so she could see what I'd played in class, how could I refuse?

in the sunshine (for Ali) (6/28)
1. M'Bifo - Rokia Traoré
2. Spiritual Revolution - Shelley Nicole's Blakbüshe
3. It's Good to Be Here - Digable Planet's
4. Living For the City - Stevie Wonder
5. In The Sunshine - Arrested Development
6. Afro-Harping (Car Craig Remix) - Dorothy Ashby
7. Flyin' High in the Brooklyn Sky - Digable Planets
8. Soul Vibrations - Dorothy Ashby
9. California - Joni Mitchell
10. Real to Me - Shelley Nicole's Blakbüshe
11. Dial 7 (Axioms Of Creamy Spies) - Digable Planets
12. Bowmboï - Rokia Traoré
13. Gone to California - P!nk
14. I Told Jesus - Roberta Flack

there will be more.

Jai Lakshmi Ma!

facing reality : deconstructing illusion & living fully in the real world

Here's another bit of wisdom from the archives of Swami Radha. Enjoy.

Jai Ma!

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Cosmic consciousness exists as pure energy vibrating in space. Known as Sakti in its diversity, this power becomes maya – usually interpreted as “illusion” – when we forget that the Light is present, only covered by the clouds of our emotions and ignorance. Maya is like adding colour to water, creating the idea of duality.

Who has accepted the essence? Just as electricity can be falsely mistaken for its manifestations as light, heat and movement, we can see that it is only our mistaken concepts and perceptions that make energy appear as limited form. Maya means seeing the form without the essence.

We can be drawn into maya, like children distracted by toys given by the Mother. Our interest becomes diverted and we engage in play, forgetting our purpose. But we also have the potential to recognize and understand the absolute creative power behind maya, the self-renewing power of consciousness. From this perspective, the world as creation has a reality but not an absolute reality.

Maya reigns in the physical, the mental and the emotional worlds and the ancient yogic texts tell us to conquer or dismantle these three worlds. To do so, we need to understand that whatever exists has its beginning in the unseen. Illusions and desires give creative energy its shape and form, just as a pot is formed from clay. We can change the shape as long as the clay is soft and we work with it, but once a concept has been fired in the kiln of emotions it requires great effort to destroy.

The physical, mental and emotional worlds are not really separate, but are interrelated aspects of the world of our own creation. The world we live in is our perception, and we project our own concepts onto it. We are responsible for what we project, even on a daily level to the people we interact with. We are responsible for the vibrations we emanate – our tone of voice, our facial expressions, our actions. Everything we do is an expression of ourselves – manipulated by egocentricity, by compassion, by understanding, by hatred, by whatever quality we choose. All the different qualities arise from the same energy.

The power of maya is enormous. Many people do not recognize their illusions for what they are because the desire for recognition, acceptance and value stands in the way. Some people dream of a paradise where everything is beautiful and perfect. Or worse, they imagine that if everyone else were like them, there would be no difficulties in the world.

Another of the biggest illusions is that the intellect can understand everything. The intellect is a tool, but it has no Light of its own just as the moon has no light without the sun. The intellect can create enormous illusions, and even though the illusions do not affect the inner Light, the fantasies can turn into heavy burdens that make it more difficult to approach the Light uprightly and openly. We need to stop giving our intellectual powers too much importance and instead turn our gaze within. There may come a point when the intellect demands tangible evidence and denies all spiritual experiences. But how can the intellect explain the mystical, which, like a flower’s fragrance, can emanate beyond form?

How can we understand the inherent power in our own illusions and take responsibility for them? It is the emotions in conjunction with the imagination and mental powers that bring illusion into existence. To conquer the emotional world, which is often quite murky, we have to bring in the Light – the light of understanding, the light of working with our own evolution. But then comes a temptation. From the glimmer of understanding we gain, we become victim to the illusion that we are already enlightened. It is not easy to meet ourselves at the gut level.

To accept the hard facts seems to be unnecessarily cruel. But it is the illusion itself that is the source of pain. Pain is caused by ignorance and by staying intentionally blind when experience has already taught us something different. For too long we have thought that we are victims of circumstance, when we actually have allowed ourselves to remain ignorant, seldom applying discrimination and conscious investigation to our experiences. We are too busy to go into depth and instead try to escape pain and disappointment by hoping it will go away. If intelligence were used properly there would be investigation, leading to a clearer perception of reality instead of a false one, which causes more pain.

Usually we are seeing through a veil, as if through sheer curtains with more sheer curtains behind them until finally the picture becomes hardly visible anymore. It is not that some greater power gives us information or a message or warning or invites expectation, then puts a veil over it. It is just that our ordinary perception and judgement form the veil.

We can be aware enough to know that we ourselves have put up the veils or screens. The desire to remove the screen will help it disappear. But the human mind will always be afflicted with occasional doubts and questions about our own worth. The more you become aware of the enormous power of cosmic energy the more you may wonder: “How can this human mind even approach it?”

A pioneer in bringing yoga to the West, Swami Sivananda Radha is the author of 10 classic books on yoga, including Kundalini Yoga for the West and Hatha Yoga: The Hidden Language. Her teachings focus on developing awareness and quality in life.

the naked truth

I am not a nudist. Hardly. So, why practice naked? In Swami Satchidananda's commentary on the Bhagavad Gita, he translates Nirvana as "mind nakedness – absolute serenity and peace. Your mind isn't clothed; your Self isn't covered or colored with anything. It's completely free. A totally liberated person is naked. The Self is naked, uncovered. That's the meaning of nirvana." Of course he is speaking metaphorically, and is referring to the mind more than the body. But why not apply this idea to the body?

When I started practicing naked, I felt freer. I felt liberated. My practice is my life prep, and by tapping into this liberation on my mat I began to feel more liberated out in the world (fully clothed). Matt Meko, who teaches naked classes in Seattle, had a similar realization. It's odd – just as an aside – but I feel no need to practice naked with other people. I have. I enjoyed the energy and the charged atmosphere but I'm more interested in the personal exploration when it comes to practicing naked.

The only thing that is truly mine and at my disposal in this life is my body. If the body is my most accessible tool to unite with the Divine, then it is in my best interest to get to know it completely on as many levels (gross and subtle) as possible. As I began to practice with less and less clothing, I started seeing more; how muscles react in shapes, and how bones rotate (or don't). For instance, I learned recently that because my left leg is a bit longer than my right, my left thigh wasn't moving onto the bone as much as the right thigh in Prasaritta. As I got naked more often I started feeling poses differently. Whether it was the feeling of the skin on the front of my rib cage beginning to graze the tops of my thighs in a forward bend, or the soles of my feet shaping around the flesh of my buttocks in Virasana, there was now more understanding and awareness of where my body connects and how it fits together like a puzzle.

My body is not perfect. I'm fully aware of that, and I'm also okay with it. I'm not always happy about my body's imperfections but that's life. What I have noticed is that because I look very closely at my body on a daily basis I've been able to make friends with the imperfect parts. It's just a body, it's not my Self.

There's a practical side to practicing naked: no laundry. It sounds a little simplistic but it's true. The original yogis didn't need the latest gear to alter their consciousness. Do I? Why should I? There are so many veils to hide behind already. All the fancy gear is just something else with which to fidget. It's status, and creates separation. But that's for another day... If the purpose of my showing up on my mat is to unite with the Divine, why not do so the way I was made by the Divine? God is fully aware of what I look like. Some would argue that as a yogi one should be modest and austere. I don't disagree. It simply depends on how you define modest and austere. If you choose to go with "placing a moderate estimate on one's abilities or worth," and "stern and cold in appearance or manner" as definitions, count me out. But if you choose "decent" and "unadorned", I'm right there. It reminds me of the Garden of Eden story. When Eve and Adam ate of the tree of knowledge, their brains started clouding their clear sight and they became ashamed of their pureness and their nakedness. I'm not ashamed. (see also the story of Dattatreya) If my body is my main tool for union, and if I am the instrument of God (Bhagavad Gita) and God's partner (Bible) why would I encumber myself with coverings and fabrics? Why not be naked and free?

At first, practicing naked made me feel vulnerable. Not so much now. I'm not afraid of being exposed on my own any more, and it's made me more willing to be vulnerable with others. I think that's great. That's been an unexpected benefit. This practice is, in my opinion, about stripping off the layers, and moving toward the essence of our own truth. It's a practice because as we remove layers, others have a way of showing up. Getting naked, getting dressed. Layers off, layers on. In the West we tend to start with the physical practice, and hopefully the other aspects of the practice become more accessible in time. So if I'm striving for this nirvana, this mind nakedness, why not bare it all? Sure is nice to be naked and free!

Om Namah Shivaya!

naked asanas by Vladimir Kalabin

retreat

All the details for our return trip to Costa Rica are available.

Earth, Air, Fire, and Water:
A yoga retreat to awaken and balance the elements within.

Sunday April 15 - Saturday April 21, 2007

Visit my site for full details

happy happy

Sending out light, laughter, and happiness.

Merry Christmas!

from the archives: swami radha

I thought I'd share this one from Swami Radha. Enjoy.

******

mantra, vibration & transformation
an exploration of sound & consciousness

Mantra chanting is a way to transform powerful emotions into finer feelings to fill the heart. The vibration of sound fluctuates from the influence of the emotions. When refined emotions enter the heart, the rate of vibration differs again. The vibrations of the heart change the rate of vibration of your entire being. With recitation of mantra comes the feeling and the desire to create for this incredible power a place to reside. The heart lotus is the natural place. The heart, when filled with transcendent feelings, is the best place to experience the pulsation and vibration of the Light.

Mantra is the most profound speech, sound at its highest, because it takes us away from the ego’s selfishness and self-importance. It lifts us beyond all other existence. When that supreme sound really becomes sovereign, it can move the world, change lives, actions and thinking. It can turn us into completely new beings. It is like being clothed in a new cloth of thought and sound. We hear ourselves speak, no longer the speech of self-importance in which the mind continuously engages, but the sound of our innermost being.

Think of the vibration that your words create outside your human body. The sound that has been released with the breath – does it fade, die out or continue the journey? When you chant the mantra, where will the vibrations of the mantra go? Will they reach the walls? Will they penetrate the walls or bounce off? Will the vibrations die? What space and time will it take for the mantra to emanate into the distance?

When I practised five hours of mantra a day, I became keenly aware that sounds have images. I have seen the sounds of Hari Om like soap bubbles, each one having only one colour, and that colour vibrating strongly. Some were tiny bubbles and some were very big, almost big enough to travel on. I just have to jump on and see where the sound goes. It inspired me to ask: Once a sound is released, where does it go?

The luminosity experienced in mantra practice arises from sounds of a high frequency that affect the brain but are seldom remembered in waking consciousness. This experience is also connected to the heart lotus and is symbolized as a sprinting antelope, indicating that before the mind grasps it, it is already gone. It often takes a long time before the mind lets us into that hidden place, to which waking consciousness has no access.

Mantra practice is like shooting at a target. To aim at a target requires concentration, motionlessness. Both body and mind need to be under control. The training of spiritual practice, after the first wave of enthusiasm is over, often leaves some people feeling bored. If they chant a mantra, it can become a dry, meaningless repetition. However, I found that when the mechanicalness is overcome, the body and a certain portion of the mind settle down. The body comes more under control, which later proves very helpful in meditation.

By meditation, I mean not simply sitting and closing the eyes and seeing what happens. It’s very difficult to put into words, because the words imply a greater activity inwardly than there actually is. Meditation is a condition that makes us conducive to coming into a greater expectation. A conviction develops that something is going to take place, so one sits in this expectation now that the body has become more responsive to it.

The mantra will eventually become something creative in us. It will reveal itself through the practice, but it takes quite some time to reach that point. This takes place without interference from that level of mental activity that likes to engage and interfere. This part of the mind may have a certain impression of what is going on, but not the understanding. The mantra reveals itself by the creative force that is within it. It is important not to demand answers, while it is all right to pose the questions. The experience itself will answer in a way that is far more precise and detailed than can be expressed in words.

The exploration of sound and consciousness can lead to a whole different understanding of the world we live in and the world we create. At some point we may recognize that each human being is in essence a mantra, a very unique yet cosmic mantra. When we have this perception about ourselves, we cannot help but let go of old patterns and obstacles and enjoy the wonder of being part of the cosmic symphony.

Kundalini is the Sound of God (Shabda Brahman). Mantras are Kundalini herself, for She is all language.



photo courtesy yasodhara ashram

farahi!

I learned a new word this week. Farahi! It’s the word that describes the moment when you’re completely split wide open, spiritually. Of course, I learned it from Dana. It’s very fitting, really, since it was Dana and Jasmine, and the Lotus that made me scream FARAHI! You never really know what or who will shape your life when you’re on this path. I’ve come to realize that if I stay open, anything is possible. It’s certainly never dull.
Jai Farahi!

sharing the vibrations

I'm trying to get back on the kirtan trail.
Had a blast with the Satsang family on Sunday.
Here's something I've been playing with.

still dropping back

I never would have thought it, but it's true. It's a been a few months now, and I'm still dropping back into Urdhva Dhanurasana (Wheel). More importantly, I'm loving it. In fact, I prefer it to coming up from the floor these days.

My heels lift on the way down but I'm okay with that. It seems like the options are heels lifting or, grounded heels turning in. I tried grounding my heels and allowing them to roll in, just to see what it was like. Didn't like it. It didn't feel good in my hips. At least when my heels are up, I can keep my hips rolling in.

It's a nice change when something in my practice that used to be terrifying becomes actual fun.

Successful double-team

I'm happy to report no shoulder pain. This is usually the time of year when my shoulders start getting achey; my bursitis starts to flair as the weather gets colder. Of course, it's apparently not going to get cold this year but that's another topic.

What seems to be making the big difference this year is my successful double-team: Acupuncture and Massage/Cranio-Sacral Therapy every other week with Victoria Koos and Jeremy Quinby, respectively. Rather than waiting to see what might happen this year and then trying to deal with it after, I'm treating the situation before it becomes a problem. It's totally working. So well, in fact, that I'm actually able to practice Gomukasana with my arms on both sides. That's never been the case. It's liberating. I don't feel like I have back off my practice, or be overly careful on the mat. Consequently, I've kind of been kicking my own ass, and I kinda like it ; )

from NOLA

I was down at Wild Lotus Yoga Center in New Orleans back in April.
It's a great community of yogis. If you're there, you MUST check them out.
My teachers taught a couple of workshops that weekend.
There was a reporter from the Times-Picayune covering
Dana Flynn's Vinyasa Gospel. I think the photographer liked me.
Here are some nice pics.

Make sure to choose "large" and "captions" when you get to the page.

going back to paradise

Costa Rica, here we come! In six months, that is.
Paul and I have decided to return to Montezuma in
April (16-20) for another retreat. Can't wait!
There will be details up on the site -
http://www.yogawithkeith.com/retreat.html - next week.
Stay tuned.

summer's over; back to school

Summer break is officially over. Happy Fall.

We had a good retreat. I recommend practicing in paradise as soon as possible.
Paul and I discovered the joy in the three-hour practice.
We're already planning the next yogic escape. Stay tuned for that.

My summer sadhana was terrific.
Kurmasana (Tortoise pose), dropping back to Urdhva Dhanurasana (Wheel),
and Eka Pada Raja Kapotasana (Full Pigeon) all
became very close friends.

In my on-going quest of union with the divine I've enrolled
in the All-Faiths Seminary for this year. I'm looking forward to
expanding my practice in new ways.
Wanna see my reading list?

SACRED TEXTS

The Bhagavad Gita
The Dhammapada
The Holy Bible
The Koran
The Sutra
The Torah


ETHICS

Ram Dass; How Can I Help?
Raymond Fox; Elements of the Helping Process


COMPARATIVE RELIGION

Int'l Religious Foundation World Scripture A Comparative Anthology of Sacred Texts
Huston Smith; The World's Religions


JUDIASM

Max Dimont; God, Jews and History
Joseph H Gelberman; Kabbalah as I See It


CHRISTIANITY

Paul Johnson; A History of Christianity
Frank S Mead; Handbook of Denominations in the United States


ISLAM

Suzanne Haneef; What Everyone Should Know About Islam and Muslims
Les Hixon; The Heart of the Koran


HINDUISM AND BUDDHISM

Swami Bhaktipada; The Heart of the Gita
W Rahula; What the Buddha Taught


NEW THOUGHT AND MEDITATION

Erik Butterworth; Discover the Power Within You
Ernest Holmes The Science of the Mind


SPIRITUAL HEALING AND COUNSELING

Louise Hay; You can Heal Your Life
Bernie Siegel; Love, Medicine, and Miracles


PSYCHOLOGY

Victor Frankl; Man's Search for Meaning
George Weinberg; The Heart of Psychotherapy


DEATH AND DYING

Elizabeth Kubler Ross; On Death and Dying
Raymond Moody; Meetings at the Edge

PRACTICAL MINISTERIAL

Perry H Biddle Jr.; A Funeral Manual
Suzanna S Macombe; Joining Hands and Hearts
Angela Plum; An Interfaith Ministers' Manual


SUGGESTED READINGS

Foundation for Inner Peace A Course In Miracles
Swami Bhaktipapda; How to Love God
Susanne Fincher; Coloring Mandalas
Robert Gass; Chanting: Discovering the Spirit in Sound

Barbara Karnes; Gone From My Sight; The Dying Experience

Raymond Moody; Coming Back
Jeffrey Moses; Oneness
Patricia Love; What To Do When A Parents Love Rules Your Life
Amon Saakana; Saba African Origins of the Major World Religions
Alberto Villoldo; Shaman, Healer, Sage
Yogananda; The Autobiography of a Yogi

ANYTHING BY THE FOLLOWING AUTHORS;

Joseph Campbell
Deepak Chopra
June Cotner
The Dali Lama
Sigmund Freud
Louise Hay
Carl Jung
Stephen Levine

Intense, right? Who knows how much blogging I'll do this year.
The mat will continue to roll out, a lot. No doubt about that.

Om Satgurunath Maharaj Ki Jai!

letting go, attachments... swaha!

My e-mail is misbehaving. Not good. Not good timing either.Not a thing I can do about it. Inhale. Exhale. Definitely frustrating. These are the things that love to pop up just before I leave town. Om Gum Ganapatiye Namaha! My brain tells me to keep checking for updates on Dotster's site to see when they will start forwarding to my account again. No change. It's like a watched pot. Inhale... Hopefully the exhale will come before I lose it.

I'm off to Toronto tomorrow. Last year this trip really shined a light on my attachments. I went around to classes to feel out the yoga community. I'd been warned that everything would be Ashtanga (no matter what the class description). It was true. I wasn't feeling it. Where is that darned exhale? Couldn't find it then either. I wasn't surprised that I have preferences. I was surprised how many I have. I don't know why I was surprised.

Of course, I did end up finding a yoga bhav I could get with in the Davids (see God Bless Canada!). I'm heading into this trip with my eyes a little more open. I'm only planning to take a couple classes with people I know (I'm always receptive in that situation). The rest of time I spend dancing around on my own mat. Ah, there's the exhale I've been waiting for. I'm still packing my preferences. After all, I still have a workshop to teach next week and a retreat to get ready for. I can't let it all go. But I can offer some of it up.

Swaha!

15 minutes / be present

If you go to the be present site, you'll
see some photos of me and my beloved teacher, Jasmine.
I had to hit refresh on the front page of their
site quite a few times before we came up (the photos
are set to cycle). Eventually, there we were.
Check us out.

p.s. thanks Mr. Pozniak

uncover your independence

Celebrate your independence. Sing to the staunchly independent
Goddess of Speech, Poetry, and Music.

Om Aim Saraswatiyei Swaha.
Om, and Salutation to she who has Flow!
Jai Ma, Jai Sri Saraswati, Jai Ma!

Rumi

This poem really seemed to speak
to lots of folks this week. I found it while
preparing to talk about meditation. Enjoy.

******

the guest house

this being human is a guest house.
every morning, a new arrival.

a joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

welcome and entertain them all!
even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
he may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

the dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

- rumi

best friend

Massage really is the yogi's best friend.
I went to someone new this week; Paul @ Exhale.


Strong hands and deep work. I highly recommend getting
him to untie your knots.

photo by erick wilund

gratitude

I'm filled with gratitude. I'm able to roll out my mat every day, and I get to explore my practice.

For that I'm grateful. I teach and share my practice, a lot. For that I'm grateful.

Today I received two very sweet compliments from two very sweet students. In short, they appreciate what I have to offer. My gratitude for that has no description.

Jai! Jai! Jai Sri Hanuman!

what's your religion?

One God
One Worship
One Sacred Place
One Holy Book
One Worshipper
One
-Kamau Daaood from One

Recently on a day too rainy to bike, I was getting around by cab. Usually the division between front seat and back seat is more than enough to keep the journey quiet. Not today. I don't really mind a little chit-chat with the driver cause the conversation tends to be pedestrian at best. Not today.

In the last stretch of the drive my cabbie looks at me in the rear-view and says, "What's your religion?"

"Sorry?" I was caught off guard.

He repeats, "What's your religion," pulling at his face to indicate that my furry chin must have a connection to something organized. "You know, Muslim, Hindu, Christian...?"

Maybe he thought I wasn't familiar with the term. "I don't have a religion."

"No?"
"No," but he seemed to be waiting for more. "I'm a yogi." Silence with a quizzical expression. "I'm a yogi. You know yoga?"

"No," he smiles and shakes his head.

"It comes from India." Somehow that seemed to be enough for him, and seconds later we were at my door.

It wasn't really enough though. I didn't so much mind the question. I just didn't expect it, or have time to process it. The more complete answer (on a longer trip) should have been:"I don't have a religion. I'm a yogi, and my religion is God." I don't consider myself religious but I see my practice as a divine experience. It's my time with God.

Asana is moving meditation and physical prayer; devotion in motion. Sitting cultivates my curiosity of what's on the other side of the out-breath, and allows me to contemplate my own divine light. Chanting is praise time, pure and simple. I read sacred texts for knowledge and inspiration.

It kind of sounds like religion, save the fact there is no one God in my practice. Though I chant to Ganesh, Hanuman, and Shiva every day, my practice has taught me to see the Divine in all things. God is everywhere and everyone. My practice allows me to walk my own path, inspired and informed by those who have walked similar paths before me but not bound to same routes.

I didn't have the chance to fully answer my curious cabbie. In fact, I don't think he would have wanted my answer. I think he would have liked a one word answer from a familiar list to settle the debate in his mind. Oh well.

At least his unexpected question prepared me for next chatty cabbie, and gave an answer to my own chatty mind. For now.

fear

It isn't often I feel like I have monumental breakthroughs on the mat. There have been a few: balancing in the middle of the room in Pinca Mayurasana (Forearm Stand) and Adho Mukha Vrksasana (Hand Stand), learning to love Virasana (Hero's Pose), and the first Padmasana (Lotus). I don't get on my mat expecting monumental events either. I get on my mat to practice. However, I try to make space for the unbelievable and the unexpected to come through.

What I've come to realize is that the road blocks on the path to the unbelievable are placed there by fear; fear of falling, fear of failing, fear of pain, fear that the body isn't able or ready. Some of that fear is well founded because the body is smarter than the mind, and it won't go somewhere until it feels prepared. Some of that fear is just fear.

I've known for a little while that the major fear-block in my practice has been dropping back from standing into Urdvha Dhanurasana (Full Wheel). I have no issue if I'm being assisted into transition but the idea of doing it on my own sets off a chorus dis-belief in my head: your wrists won't support the drop, your shoulders will fail, you'll break your nose and you'll have to explain how you did it, you'll make a fool out of yourself. Knowing it's just fear didn't seem to help me get past it. I know I can come up to stand from Wheel, and that takes just as much grounding. What's the big deal? I've spent time with the idea, and addressed it as fear. I've worked on arm variations to get closer to the transition. But always, my head wins.

Feeling particularly curious yesterday, I spent a bunch a time on my mat playing with a bunch of Heart Opening shapes. I came up to stand from wheel and managed not to go flying forward. I felt grounded. Why not visit the idea of moving the other way? Hands on my hips, heart open, feet planted, knees soft, breath full. I could see a piece of platform (a little lower than half way down), and my intention was to put my hands there first and walk down the rest of the way from there. But I kept my hands grounding my hips and kept my heart flying. I let my hands go and they landed on the floor. I was in a wheel. My wrists and shoulders didn't seem to mind and my nose was in tact. I laughed, and asked out loud, "How did I get here?" There was no way it would ever happen again, I was sure of that. Of course I had to check that theory. It was wrong, and I was able to breathe my way from one shape to the other a second time. Jai Sri Ganesh! Jai Sri Hanuman!



I'm not willing to say that the fear block is gone. Maybe it was doing something else at the time. Or perhaps it's plotting a move to some other area of my practice. Only time and showing up will tell.

long time, no post

After an extended holiday break abroad (no computer), and an out of town gig (no time and no computer)... I'm BAAAACK.

I'm getting ready to spend Sunday, March 5th upside down for my Inversion Immersion at Laughing Lotus. It's always a blast to hang out upside down. I learn something new every time prepare for this workshop. Stay tuned for more!

fun on the street

Everyone who knows me knows I'm all about using my bike as my primary mode of transport (MTA Strike or not). Cycling in very meditative, and constantly teaches me about Ahimsa (non-violence/non-aggression) and keeping my cool in the midst of the unconscious wondering of the man on the street. It's a great practice. I saw a GREAT sticker this morning. Totally made my day.

show me the light

Inspiration. I don't always know from where it might come. Usually it just shows up and moves through me when I hit my mat. That's the best cause in those moments I know I'm moving like me. It can show up though an experience I've had in a teacher or a friend's class. Sometimes it's music that gets the light shining. Then there are the days (or longer) when the light of inspiration is a little dim...

I needed a little nudge toward inspiration last week so I spent some time fingering through Dharma Mittra's 608 Asanas. Though his sequencing doesn't necessarily work for my body, I find his physical creativity really inspiring, and the photos of his poses - seeing his body in the shapes - can often spark something in my body to move in a particular way. The other place I turned was to Shandor Remete, the founder of Shadow Yoga. Never taken a class or anything - they don't really exist here - but I've read about it and enjoyed seeing his physical interpretations of the body practice.

Seeing these men, these luminaries, got me moving outside of my head. It's impossible to show up on my mat and take the same old routes when I've added new, perhaps unfamiliar shapes, into the mix. It was great. It's like giving myself an assignment: Find a way to get into this shape without ever having it explained, AND then see what naturally follows it.

Ah, Curiosity, I do love Thee.

life prep

Sweet practice yesterday. I had a cancellation, which freed up some extra time in the morning. So I was able to get on my mat, and move how my body wanted, all without concern for the time. The result was fantastic.

The couple days leading up to yesterday had been very active, both on and off the mat - a lot of running around, teaching, music school, workshop - and my practice was bouncy and energetic to match that. Having that extra hour yesterday changed all that. I was on my mat for almost an hour before I even stood up. My body wanted to be 'in' the poses, and I allowed that to happen. There were far too many breaths to know the number but just enough to feel like I could really observe the movement of the inhale and exhale. I really hung out, especially in Virasana, Mandukasana (Frog Seat or Japanese Warrior Seat), Ardha Adho Mukha Svanasana (Half Dog). I was able to notice change. I could literally feel my butt getting heavier into my arches in Mandukasana every time I exhaled. Amazing. I even found a way to rig myself into Navasana with a belt so I could really stay in it without too much shaking or struggle, and I had a wonderfully deep Savasana. Lord knows that doesn't always happen. The whole experience was incredibly illuminating. I felt light and curious, and I wasn't thinking, 'how am I going to teach this?' or 'can I teach this?' It was my practice, for me. That isn't always possible even if the intention is there.

Paul and I were just talking about that the other day; sometimes when we get to really practice on our own, for ourselves, it can start to feel like we aren't setting ourselves up to teach. That might be true but Dana has always reminded me of how important it is to set ourselves up for the day and for our life, and to let our teaching grow from that place. I embrace that.

I don't want to sound attached but... I much prefer to have a practice like yesterday rather than one where I 'thinking' about anything or actively 'preparing' something. Sure, that can be wonderful too but it's different. A practice like that can be exciting because something will happen on the mat that I'll be juiced to share with students, and that's definitely the joy and the gift in teaching. But when I get to practice solely for myself, without any outer concerns I feel truly prepared to LIVE. Wow, now that's a gift.

day-after knees

I've been practicing Lotus Pose (Padmasana) consistently since about April. I had always assumed my knees would never allow me to but one day, much to my surprise, they did. So I made Lotus my Sadhana for the summer months. Since then the knees almost always accept the pose, and it's gotten easier along the way. I knew it would work out that way having spent a similar summer with Virasana. But unlike Lotus, Virasana doesn't seem to be as attached summer temperatures.

To be clear, I'm not one of those 'presto-change-o-I'm-magically-in-Lotus' kind of guys. There are several breaths involved. I flirt with the pose, and sometimes he flirts back. When it's not there, I leave it alone. Simple.

Usually there aren't any adverse day-after affects. But today, Oy!, my knees are screaming obscenities at me. I guess I'll put Lotus away with the shorts and sandals until the weather is warm again. I suppose that would be the upside to relocating to someplace with a warmer climate. Johannes would like that.

Shhhh

How can I breathe into stillness when there isn't any?

Last night my LLCY mentor group had a good chat about Tadasana (Mountain Pose), and teaching from that place of content, breath-filled stillness. It's odd sometimes to think that very often the two most 'difficult' poses in the practice are Tadasana and Savasana (Corpse), the two poses where we are asked to find an alert stillness and simply breathe without 'doing' anything.

This morning on the mat the noisy reality presented itself with... enthusiasm. There are things I don't consciously hear like the ever present electrical whir or the subtle klink in the heating pipes - things that if they were removed would create a deafening, silent void. Then there are the real offenders: the construction banging, sirens, and the loud Portuguese conversation that seems to be circling my front window. Can I stay with my breath and on my mat, even with all of that?

The truth: practicing without all that outer stuff might actually be harder. As a city dweller I don't often have the luxury of practicing without that stuff. I'm not really sure what it's like since it only happens on vacation or at a retreat. That setting almost seems less that real. As a result my breath serves as a tool to navigate the constant murmur of the city. All those sounds become part of the experience.

I can't breathe away the noise, at least not on the outside. I can gratefully breathe in the stuff on the outside and create some stillness on the inside. Maybe in the end I can breathe out some stillness.

hurt?

"But now it doesn't hurt." That's what a student said to me recently after I gave her a block to sit on in her Virasana (Hero's Pose). I sit with Virasana at some point every day, and I always sit on something because otherwise it would hurt.

From where has this idea come, this misconception that the re-union of the breath, mind and body is somehow supposed to be some sort of ancient physical torture? I'm not saying we shouldn't test our boundaries and edges and familiar comfort zones. If nothing else, we should practice that every day. We should make friends with our discomfort (different than pain) to avoid the endless clinging to or craving of our likes and dislikes. But who said anything about beating yourself up to the point of pain?

Every day I roll out my mat, and I challenge myself both in the way I move but also in the way choose not to move. If I am mindful, patient, and present I can move deeper into shapes, and maybe end up somewhere new. If I'm ambitious or goal-driven, and go to the places where I'm in pain - well pain usually leads to injury or, worse, thinking rather than breathing.

Isn't there enough daily pain and suffering? Why not embrace yoga as a way to lessen the pain and suffering, and increase the boundless joy? Can my practice teach me to laugh more and grunt less?

Tall order?

Something tells me I'll be teaching a lot of Virasana for the next chunk of time.

"sthira sukham asanam" our connection to the earth (i.e. the seat or the 'yoga pose') should be steady and joyful. - Sutra II.46

Mahadeva

So the idea was since it was a Halloween kirtan that everyone should dress as their favorite deity. Every now and then I like to follow the program so I did myself up as Lord Shiva, Hara, Mahadeva, and was well received. My friend Patty here, always looks like the divine Anandamayi Ma. Too bad more people didn't bite at the bait.



Bhagavan? He's always in divine costume.


Jai!