Monday, December 06, 2010

empty cup

In the Hatha Yoga Pradipika it says, Uddiyana bandha is called the rising or flying bandha because through its practice, the great bird (shakti) flies upward with ease (III.56), and Pulling the abdomen back in and making the navel rise is uddiyana bandha. It is the lion which conquers the elephant, death (III.57). Of the three major bandhas (the others being jalandhara bandha and moola bandha), it's the one that often feels the most accessible. The inward lift of the belly seems to focus the fiery strength of the agni, and unleashes a usually untapped storehouse of power. Because it can only be practiced on the exhale it also seems to create space – space to be still, space to feel uncertain, space to embrace emptiness.

This controlled emptiness is called bahya kumbhaka. As BKS Iyengar writes in Light on Pranayama, Bahya kumbhaka is the state in which the yogi surrenders his very self, in the form of his breath, to the Lord and merges with the Universal Breath. It is the noblest form of surrender, as the yogi's identity is totally merged with the Lord.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

laughter spoken here

Recently a student told me she appreciates that she can laugh in my classes. And another said that she liked that she gets to feel very "natural" with me. There are days when I struggle, still feeling like the new guy in town. In those moments I remind myself to show up, shut up, and SERVE so that I can hold the kind of space where yoga can become the vehicle for this laughter and naturalness. Some days it is so hard and I wish that was easier. Then I remember that evolution and change are never easy. On the other side of this struggle is the still point. The only way to get there is to go through the rough places – the trenches of doubt, ego, and attachment. I'd rather get there bloodied and beaten than not get there at all.

Saturday, December 04, 2010

the sweet satisfaction of surya namaskara

In the wee hours of the morning, I often pray for the day to delay its start. I light the candles and unroll my mat before the alter. After a little time on the floor, after my breath has begun to really breathe, after a few adho mukha svanasanas and an extended uttanasana, I stand and embark on Surya Namaskar. When I start, it often feels like these salutations to the still-sleeping-sun are the beginning of my practice. But as the repetitions increase, they become my practice. That's when I start to wish that there were more hours in the day.

Surya Namaskar is pretty perfect. It's a complete practice that fully incorporates pranayama, asana, mantra and devotion. With each bow and lunge my breath gets fuller and more expansive, and these asanas begin to free my body and mind from their dark slumber.

With this familiar set of movements as the beginning of my day, my entire practice becomes exactly what I need every time. What a terrific gift.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

unexpected detour

The greatest part of having a personal practice is the fact that sometimes I end up someplace I didn't plan to explore. In my efforts to embrace dwipadarajakapotasana I experienced some challenges contracting my hamstrings while moving into a deep back-bend. As a result I started practicing Hanumanasana more often, figuring it would change my relationship to my hamstrings and to my psoas. And that's exactly what happened.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

my summer poses


I used to create a sadhana every summer around a shape that was eluding me. I haven't done that in a while, mainly because my practice during the rest of the year has taken on that kind of focus. But as summer winds on this year, I'm feeling the need to get close to a few shapes that are almost there.

The first is this lovely Dhanurasana variation by David Gellineau. The second is Raja Kapotasana as shown here by Ron Reid. The third is Dwi Pada Sirsasana, also shown by Ron. I'll report on my progress and my discoveries in the coming weeks. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

stand up, be the messenger you were meant to be


In the spirit of Joan of Arc, Bastille Day, revolution, involution, and the practice of becoming a soldier of love NO MATTER WHAT. Today's poem and playlist.

No Reservations (for Art Jones)

there are no reservations
for the revolution

no polite little clerk
to send notice
to your room
saying you are WANTED
on the battlefield

there are no banners
to wave you forward
no blaring trumpets
not even a blues note
moaning wailing lone blue note
to the yoruba drums saying
strike now shoot
strike now fire
strike now run

there will be no grand
parade
and a lot thrown round
your neck
people won't look up and say
"why he used to live next to me
isn't it nice
it's his turn now"

there will be no recruitment
station
where you can give
the most convenient hours
"monday wednesday i play ball
friday night i play cards
any other time i'm free"

there will be no reserve
of energy
no slacking off till next time
"let's see–i can come back
next week
better not wear myself out
this time"

there will be reservations
only
if we fail

~Nikki Giovanni

'freedom' playlist

1. The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (Early Version)–Gil Scott-Heron
2. 2 Words: Miri's Free At Last Mix (feat. Kanye West & MLK,Jr.)–Miri Ben-Ari
3. I Feel Awake Even Though This Is a Dream–Suphala featuring Edie Brickell
4. Raining Revolution–Arrested Development
5. Elliptical–Me'Shell Ndegéocello
6. Gabrielle feat. Alice Russell - Alternate 12" Take–[re:jazz]
7. It's a New Day–will.i.am
8. Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now–McFadden & Whitehead
9. Answer Me–Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
10. Freedom Now–Tracy Chapman
11. To Be Young, Gifted and Black–Nina Simone
12. Oh, Freedom–Harry Belafonte
13. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Suite: Sunday in Savannah–Nina Simone
14. Minerva–Ani DiFranco
15. Freedom Time–Lauryn Hill
16. Evolution (And Flashback)–Gil Scott-Heron
17. Dream–Toshi Reagon

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

elusive nauli kriya

Try as I might, nauli kriya still eludes me. I taught agni sara while I was in Germany, as part of my Wake the Snake class. I didn't talk about nauli. It's more difficult to conceive of when it's new, and I can't do it. Roland told me that it's part of his daily sadhana, so I tried to get him to really teach me what to do. His effort was good but still nauli isn't happening. This guy is pretty clear. I'll keep working on it. Decades, not days, right?



 

Update 10/16/2011...
I'm happy to report that nauli has become part of MY daily experience. Just like Roland predicted by setting my intention and moving toward it, it just happened. I shared it with the current class of Yoga School and was told that my waving middle was hypnotic and patriotic. "Patriotic?" "Yes, it's a bit like watching an American flag in the wind." Right on.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Terminé - GYT day 8

That’s what my father-in-law would sometimes say at the end of meal. It’s something he picked up during his 20+ summer holidays spent in the Provençe, so it was said with a smile. I’m saying it today. I’ve just finished my last master class, and it was a lot of fun. YogaYa in Leverkussen has a sweet vibe and a lovely community. It was the perfect end to the tour. There were some familiar faces from the previous days (Britta, Dani, and Markus), and both the owners of the studio were also there. It was a full room in more ways that one. Absolutely everyone who was there this afternoon made sure to shake my hand and say “thank you” for the class. There were also hugs and kisses from a few. No matter what the action, the sentiment was clear. I guess it makes nothing but sense that after 3 hours together (a fairly long commitment) and A LOT of back bending that we should all want to express such gratitude to be able to be in each other’s presence. I know that’s what I was feeling.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Kuhl! Yoga - GYT 7



I love monkeys, I love Hanuman, and I love happy surprises. Cool Yoga had all of those things. Okay, there weren’t real monkeys. Friday night (I don’t think I thought about the possible difficulties that this could have had) in Dortmund for a master class to inspire the qualities of Hanuman within us (Monkeying Around) was a great idea. Hanuman goes out into the world and does what he needs to do, but more often than not he’s a bit of hermit. He doesn’t go cat-ing around on a Friday night. Staying in on a Friday night to commune with like-minded seekers was the perfect starting place to being this journey of emulating Sri Hanuman. He is vir, vira, viriya (all ways of saying that he is strong, heroic, and virile). His great practice of tapasya, amazing devotion, and practice of bramacarya have made him so potent with vital energy that even his sweat that falls in the ocean can give birth to new life. Like I said, I love this guy.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Hard day, good lesson - GYT day 6

What was it I said about enjoying the things in life that are deceptively difficult? Sometimes I think I am alone in that thinking. I’ll come back to that…


I had considered canceling the remainder of the tour when I got the news about my father-in-law but decided to keep going through the final days, hoping that teaching would be the medicine I needed during this sad time. Like all medicine, there are sometimes side effects and the first dose is usually the hardest to swallow. This evening was a challenging for me. Initially it felt like outer forces were against me; my train from Münster to Düsseldorf kept getting later and later, and moving slower and slower. That is the kind of situation where I start to get CRAZY. It’s out my control but I can’t let it go. Not a good start. I made it to the studio with more than enough time to let the train experience drift away. However, I arrived to find out that the attendance for the evening was to be significantly smaller. Why? Many people were sore from 54 rounds of surya namaskar. That is not completely strange. Simple movements repeated several times with real attention paid to every moment is certainly intense, and if someone is used to glossing over their movements and not really being present in the practice then the body will feel it. When I have that feeling, all I want to do is move. The movement, like teaching, is powerful medicine. Again, maybe I’m alone on that one. Those who weren’t sore (or maybe they were) had, for some reason, expected that there would be something other than surya namaskar the first night. Some big flowing vinyasa, perhaps. (insert head scratching) That’s curious when the title of the master class is In The Sunshine: A Salutation to the Source. So there had been a desire to really move and flow. Great. This was the plan for the second night. I love when a plan comes together. (insert the sound of tires screeching to a hault) I applaud the desire to do something, but a creative flow was simply not possible. And that’s fine. We all start somewhere, and in that starting place we often have big dreams that are beyond us. Also fine. However, in my mental and emotional state I needed to maintain some semblance of what I’d hoped to share. So a lot of the plan was there but a lot got dropped too. The difficult part of the evening for me was that there was disappointment expressed that we did exactly what we were meant to do the first night. And then when that wish was fulfilled for the second night, it was beyond the wisher’s ability. It was frustrating and challenging because this was time when I could have been with my grieving family.


That being said, it was a great learning experience for me. I went there thinking that the community would be similar to the one at the Couch in ability and curiosity and hunger and spirit. The first night was more straight forward, and so it wasn’t possible to see that this is not exactly the case. And the actual similarities or lack there of, are in consequential. The situation was a product created completely by me and my mind. So the second night was jarring. But it was a chance to remember that every teaching situation has to be a blank canvas, and that the colors on the palette have to be chosen in the moment, not before. It took me back to something I have said to YS students and mentees more times than I care to count: “pretend we’ve never heard of these things you’re talking about, and teach them that way.” In the end, every teaching experience is an offering. When it’s gone, it’s gone. So, it’s gone. I left with no hard feelings or ill will. I got to be the student for a couple hours, seeing my miscalculations and emotions, and noticing the dance of my mind around those things.


Moving on, upward and inward.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

honoring all parts - GYT day 5

The tour moved to Düsseldorf on today (Tuesday). It was my first time in the city, and I haven’t had a chance to really see it yet. I hope I get the chance.

I love anything that reveals itself to be maybe a little more challenging than outwardly perceived, or a little more exciting that originally believed. That is the practice of Surya Namaskara. I think the pranayama aspect of the this practice is the most intense part. Hearing or repeating the mantras forces us put A LOT of attention to how the breath moves. It’s out of this world!

I didn’t know what to expect from Vishnu’s Vibes. I have such a fondness for the Couch that I feared that no one else could ever live up to their willingness and receptivity. Let me just say that Vibes came and they turned it out! They came, and they came READY. Two hours was just barely enough time to talk about the stages of the sun, learn the sun mantras, talk about each asana, and go through 54 rounds of salutations. It was a bit funny to be sharing this practice of celebrating the sun when the sky was dark, but even the night is part of the sun’s daily journey. I liked thinking about that because each of these sun mantras and asanas honors an aspect of the Divine who is light, dark, seen and unseen. I had the best seat in the house, sitting behind the harmonium, chanting, and being mesmerized by the rising and bowing. When it was all over, I was literally shaking from the energy in the room.

Unfortunately, the night ended on a sad note. Just as we were clearing out, my husband called from California to tell me that his father had died suddenly earlier in the day here in Germany. It came as a huge shock but I was lucky that I was in a sacred space with friends when I got the news. Just like the sun plays a role in the night, death must play a role in life. I don’t know how or if the remaining days of the tour will be affected. I am traveling to father-in-law’s house to be with his wife, and my husband is boarding a plane later today to be here tomorrow morning. Teaching is such medicine for me and for all teachers. I think it will be good to go even deeper to place of teaching as service in the next days.

The final workshops are all geared towards exactly that too. Fire Dance (Thursday at Vibes) is a third Chakra vinyasa, Monkeying Around (Friday at Cool Yoga in Dortmund) is a practice to awaken the spirit of Hanuman, and Out of the Dark and Into the Light (Saturday at Yoga Villa in Leverkussen is a three-hour backbending master class. I think prepping and teaching those themes will be of great comfort to me which will allow me to be of service to my family. That being said, family will come first. So I’ll see what today brings and go from there.

Monday, January 11, 2010

end of part one - GYT days 3 & 4

The first stage of the tour is officially over. And what a great weekend it was with all the Couchies in Köln! Both master classes were full of amazing, curious seekers. I feel so blessed to be able to do what I do, and to be able to feel apart of this growing global community of yogis.


The kundalini practice (Wake the Snake) was powerful for all of us. So powerful for me that I hardly slept the night after. Some folks had intense dreams, and others just had deep sleep.


It seems kirtan is still a very new thing here. I had a similar experience in San Francisco; people want to chant but they're not sure how to really let go into this practice. I do think that everyone who came had a good time but there was a lot of thinking about how to get right. That, like everything else in yoga, only changes with time and repetition. I got to play with Janko Hunshevsky who is a great jazz bassist and a really lovely person. It was all very accidental but it worked out really well. I know that he’ll be a first call next time I’m here.


Sunday was Happy Hips. It was great to offer a real flow and get some serious fire going in the body. There has been unusual winter weather here in Germany, and I have clearly become less accustomed to real cold. Needless to say, the opportunity to get lost in the movement in my own practice was a tremendous gift. Getting the Couchies to move is always easy, and move they did! For a good hour and a half we played through a crouching yogi vinyasa to work up a real shakti shine. From there we got to go deep into the hip desserts of akarna-dhanurasana, compass pose variations, ardhapadmapascimottanasana and yoginidrasana. Sri Nicole was able to make her way into the final pose for the first time ever. So sweet to see them going so deep with such joy.


Sabine was gracious enough to let me teach one more time on Monday night. Straight up vinyasa class. Um-um good. I got to talk about discipline and non-attachment, as inspired by all my Osho reading lately. It was full and it was fun. I love coming here to teach. Thank you to all the familiar Couch family – Nicole, ULLA!!! and Paul, Ute, Uta, Bea, Andreas, Helena, Jasmine, Beate, Britta, and so many more, as well as all the new love-bugs – Roland, Dani, Amy, Annett, Steffi, Thomas, Sabine, Janko and Mike. Thanks to Susie for the great Ayurvdedic massage. Thanks to the city of Köln for being so great. There are names that I might not have mentioned but know that the entire community of Lord Vishnu’s Couch has a very special place in the center of my heart.

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Dormant no more - GYT day 2

Today is the first master class – Wake the Snake – but the tour got started last night when I taught the 6:30 class at LVC Südstadt. It was a great introduction. There were new faces and familiar spirits too. It gave me a chance to just share the kind of flow that I love. My friend and host Ulla commented that she was noticing the reactions of the new folks last night, seeing them move in a new way and being moved by the opportunity to do so.


I’m surprised how excited I am for today. I’m not sure why I’m surprised. I’ll get to share all of the subtle aspects of the practice that have been really turning me on for some time now. In some ways I have had to prep more than I do for some other classes or workshops because these mantras, mudras, kriyas and pranayamas are very powerful and I want to share them in a way that is accessible so that they can become tangible tools for people in their own sadhanas. But the “work” has been fun. Some of these practices are apart of my daily sadhana all the time but I’ve never given myself the luxury of having a practice consist solely of these subtle pranic powerhouses. I felt my own dormant snake stir this morning, and I’m hoping that I can help some other folks feel that waking today. Wake the Snake will be followed by kirtan tonight for which I’m always ready and willing. I’ll be playing with two local guys: Janko on bass, and Mike on voice and shakers. I can’t wait.


More after at the end of the day… stay tuned.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

radically traditional - German Yoga Tour Day 1




I’m writing this post from an Intercity Express (ICE) International train traveling from Amsterdam to Köln. This is the beginning of my German Yoga Tour, with teaching days in Köln (VishnusCouch.de), Düsseldorf (VishnusVibes.de), Dortmund (CoolYoga.de) and Leverkussen (YogaVilla.de). I enjoy coming to Europe – traveling on trains, and streetcars, all the bikes, and the goats and sheep grazing in snowy grass as high speed trains whiz by. The cities of Europe are a terrific clash of the old and new worlds dancing some sort of old-school fertility jig with a modern, erotic twist. When is the last time anyone saw a grandmother stop peddling her bike through the snow to send a quick SMS message? Not unheard of here.

With the holidays only one week behind me, I don’t feel like there was a lot of time to think about this trip. The plans have been made since July and the master classes and workshops have been advertised since fall. I’ve been going about life pretty normally with my daily practice as my anchor through the all the hubbub of Yoga School ending, family visiting, and holiday celebrating. Then suddenly I’m on a plane, flying over the Artic Circle, train-ing into Centraal Station, and walking the winding streets of Amsterdam in a light snowfall with a dear friend. It’s almost surreal. Through it all, these themes that I set up for this tour have been taking more shape in the back of my mind. They have had an affect on what I’ve chosen to practice over the last few months in the same way that teaching Yoga School through the fall had a palpable affect on me. However, it’s only been in the days since the holidays and since arriving here in Europe that I’ve had a moment to step back and reflect on what's been happening.